| another day goes by.. |
[Sep. 29th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Room.. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
fuck..i am going through a deep depression that keeps on coming and going. besides that..i hung out with megan this week. And hung out with people in town. Had fun..everyone loves wake ups, caffeine pills. Oh well..So i lost abit of weight briefly..but lost mass in my stomach..its hard to keep up.i lost a few pounds..i mainly was drinking water most of the day and skipped breakfast. Fuck! I am sore today. M fucking ankle hurts like a mother fucker..along with my back. So fucking depressed lately..the only time i was happy when i hung out with megan and lost the stomach. today fucking sucks. lately I've been in a not so social mood..and my i've been pretty fucked up as is..like I feel like i'm someone else..and i'll be see it..and everything changed about me inside..but i was the same outside. People at work were telling me how i'm not i'm not acting like myself..all i can say is..for the last 3 days..everything has a really fucked up sobering perspective. And it's when i'm not on caffiene either..oh well..perhaps i should build a myspace...perhaps because of one of sarahs comments in a myspace account. Besides all that..i have been really getting into catchy music i hear on the radio..and just downloading it and putting it onto the iriver. My new goal in life seems to be just make money..friends..and fill the iriver with just good songs. oh well..time to be depressed.. |
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| I don't like the drugs |
[Sep. 22nd, 2006|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  severly depressed | ] |
OK..Life has been getting pretty fucked up. Or mainly just feels that way. Oh well. So I have been feeling like i am drifting away from the normal. Something hard to explain..but a bold feeling of knowing who I am and where I'm going on a very small scale. Oh no! could it be?! has all the happy feeling in life gone away? yes! yes it has! But for how long? oh well, mainly I'm just tired of living..and been in the mood to be ready to die. I've been very sober this week. besides caffiene, booze and salvia. Which arnt considered drugs. It's been a pretty messed up summer. Quit alot of drugs..and down to weed..which i havnt smoked for a long time. Ive been in a drinking mood, but only had a few drinks now and then. I could go for a drink..butas i was going back home from 7-11..it started raining..so i couldnt have spared any time and didnt want to risk getting soaked..it happened once..and it sucked. Oh well..besides that, me... megan and sarah are going to pacific mall soon..and megans b-day is coming up. My ps2 is fucked already, oh well..not like i played it much anyway. I havnt been in a anything mood lately. except since i hung out she told me i should watch some trigun. So i've watched the first dvd of it, its pretty funny..and that cat that is every epsiode..and how vash always acts. Oh well.. Oh yeah..i smoked salvia a a week or to ago..It was scary..i went to the park across town and i sat at a picnic table facing these woman in their car..my guess is they were high on soemthing or getting high..who parks at the park at 10-11 pm?!? So i assemble my bong for salvia..and pull out the salvia..then suddenly..it was dark no more...SHIT! there was car lights lit behind me..so i calmly/slowly over time take the bong apart..then head to a different area around some trees near the tennis court. So i put it back together..put a small ampount in the bowl..and light it up..inhaled..exhaled after counting to 20..suddenly..i had some pasties..and i was tripping out pretty bad..and felt my tongue was the center of my body.and everything aroundit was orbiting it..well..just the shadow beside me.so maybe a few mins later..i notice its not as dark anymore.....SHIT! there was another set of headlights facing me..so i figured they couldnt see me..being in sucha spot..i thought it was the cops..but a car passed..and i figured the car was across the street..and i was in the clear. SO i ended up dumping the bong water away from me..I figured i was fucked if i went to the bar..for i surely reeked of that nasty stuff. I hadnt got ahold of reality yet..and thought the water somehow drifted towards my ass..and was on ym way home and listened to aqua. Its likely one of the last times im smoking that stuff..there is one more time..and that is the last time likely. I dont find salvia to nice to be on..not to pleasent..it was cool for the first time discovering..but its less exciting now. Oh yeah..megan got in a car accident..which sucks..i feared her car had been damaged very bad..it didnt look to bad when i seen it after it was fixed...just a few cracks..and no signal.Oh well...thats all i feel like writting right now. Time to go watch tv..i got to watch some trigun tommorow..then hang with meg later this week . |
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| Ouch |
[Sep. 16th, 2006|11:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hurt | ] |
So..um...my hair is growing back. besides that..I hurt my ankle pretty bad..It got a sprained ankle now. So it's been a shit week for me, and ive been basically working out as good as i can without bugging my ankle. Then..I go to use a bike from outside to go to my dads..and the bike doesnt even work! so i got to walk the bike back in...and bam! i trip over something and my ankle slipped to its side..and it hurt as bad as when it first sprained it..if not worse. But basicallyt is week..havnt done to much..work out..talked to sam. Oh..did i say i got a new computer? its better then my laptop which is trashed now. Oh well...um..what else to write about..oh yeah..i got a ps2 now..i cleaned it..and it was realy really dirty..and i cleaned it all up..and works now. I could invest a few dollars to make it last a good decade..but havnt decided what to do yet. Oh yeah..Ive been off work since sept 8. anyways..not to much to write about. |
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| getting great! |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|11:21 pm] |
Well, I am bench pressing weights now and then, and now i can lift more abit better. I've been making some serious momney at work lately. besides that, i keep doing this thing,ok, so i have a hold of something and it slips, and then my fingers snap into my thimbs really quick. Quite a very bad feeling, kinda makes you uneasy. Oh well..so um..2 weeks ao i was at around 133.8 and now im back at 135-136. Been kinda busy lately hanging out with megan when she isnt working at the pizza place. Oh well.. So besides that, I've been abusing caffiene, like taking pills that are the same as taking 2-3 cups of coffee + having a small coffee on top of it while at work. Somehow it makes me work faster and better. maybe because i am completely wide awake! ha ha ha oh well. So anyways, my lasptop has no screen, no hard drive and no wireless network ability and um..it has tape keeping the dvd rom together, and its basically falling apart. it still works..lol. Oh yeah, I got a new mp3 player. It plays mp3/wma files. I checked into the wma file thing, it takes alot less space then mp3s, im talking about 3 times less space. 1 gigabyte is enough to hold a good collection on wma. besides that, my bike is working again, but the gears cant go in certain gears/the right break is broken. I also went clothing shopping with mega, got few new shirts/pants/shoes. I hung out with sarah from 7 til 9:30ish today. it went really good. We talked about stuff, and went bowling, i won, and whenever she hit the pins, the middle one would be standing..as if it was flipping her off. we walked to megans work and seen she was there. So we went to staples and got 2 bristle boards and wrote "HEY!" "IS MEGAN AROUND?" "WHEN DO YOU GET OFF?" AND "FUCK!". So i went in front of her work waving the signs trying to draw attention with the hey sign, then it worked, and then i got the is megan around sign out..then she came around..she rushed out..i thought she was gonna kill me, because she isnt allowed to havbe people visit her at work. She ended up giving sarah the biggest hug i could ever recall. Everything was all good. Then it began to ran and me and sarah walked around for abit, and found ourselves at 7-11..i made one of those coffess with everything in it, and she got a slushies/drink in a can. We ended leaving the store and it was pouring ran out..and we headed to the bowling alley where she was going to get picked up..then they drove me/my bike home..and i converted my mp3's to wma files and updated the journal. |
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| A request for updates! |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|11:23 pm] |
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Fuck, I feel like im going through de ja vu this second. Anywho, alot has happened since my last post. Most notably, i hung out with megan alot and friends. slowly me and the friends hung out abit more, and the friends and megan drifted apart..i was hangingout with sorry excuse for friends, but wanted to hang out with megan abit more..but it kinda is hard when they call you everyday..but point being, i kept on qustioning what the fuck they are doing, mainly because they didnt chip in for anything and expected ME to pay for their weed and when i only smoke a little bit of it. so point being. But anyways, i lost some major fucking weight, muscle kind/fat kind, likely from the time i did e all week, and excercised alot, i went from 152 to 139. whihch kinda sucked mainly because the muscle was gone and i really need it for worik, but i am gaining it back..and i am getting pretty lean and quit e and weed. Oh well..how long will it be til i smoke another j? Hmm..besides that, both my lappy/compy are royally fucked..notably the compy..the thing wont even start and sparks came out of it prior to it not working. and the laptops hard drive is all fucked..so i am trying to get an external hard drive to work with the old compys hard drive, gotta use those old parts for something!.. Besides that, my rrsp is really adding up, and im being bitched at about getting my drivers thing ,the g2 course. but anyways..i got new contacts.and a few other things..the lappy is running out of power whilist i run dsl linux from the ram of the computer.the battery/power cord are abit messed..so anyways..thats about it..oh, and i barely use the internet anymore.. |
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| lately.. |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|11:53 pm] |
Blah, things have been better and wrose. My rrsp is adding up. Besides that, I have been working less and more. I've been working out a little more, and drinking abit more. I have been feeling really depressed all week. And I have also have been having alot of problems sleeping, i cant pass out. So i usally end up getting 4 hours of sleep some days. I am making abit more money then normal, mainly because i gave a lecture about how much i should be paying and the value. So i have a fixed rate now, instead of high and random amounts. Besides that, i am feeling like i am drifting away from the world. I have been feeling extremely closterphbic lately, and have been walking around at night or when its not sunny. I am really bored with life lately. Oh well, i walked to tim hortons a few times, where else is there to go at night on weekends? life at work is abit different, i ate some bad food and ended up puking and feeling sick. oh well. time to go watch tv. I would go to time hortons for a coffee, but its a little to late and im to tired to walk there. |
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| workaholics |
[Mar. 16th, 2006|10:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
Well..ben working hard..and driking abit more..im really trying to cut down on the booze. Besides all that, I need some new stuff, like a new pair of work boots, work pants and maybe new work shirts. Again, besides that, i am coming into more run ins with the tenant here. I dunno what its all about. Like talking more, and saying hey more often as we walk by. And doing small favors, like sinc eim going to no frills, pick her up something while im ther, just little things. Oh well, its all good i guess. Cept she smokes..Oh well. Besides that, i am likely to hang out with my dad tommorow. Oh yeah, forgot to say, ive been getting hang overs like crazy. Mainly from all the drinking ove been doing. Oh well, all seems well, but i see something bad coming up, but i dont want it to happen, but if shit isnt done, i am gonna be more pissed off then i have ever been in my whole life and i am gonna snap with words. Mainly ex job related. Oh yeah, me and megan hung out this week, she and me painted the hallway. And the house is being renovated, like ceramic tiles in the bathroom up here, and new doors installed. Oh well, enough with that, time to get ready to go to sleep, i've gotta be out the door by 5:45. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|01:38 pm] |
Well, my hand is doing alot better..its less sore, but my pinky is somwhat colder then the rest of my sometimes. Oh wel, i really dont think i broke the bone or damaged it at all. i got a bruise and the swelling is gone. Besides that, i was in town again, and have been basically getting the feeling i was being stalked. I will not dislose why. But anyways, I got myself a coffee and headed home. I drank quite alot last night. I drank 750 ml of wine in less than 6-7 hours. I passed out from being so drunk and then i woke up. I have to admit, it was the most relaxing nap i have in abit. Just the drunkeness feeling was good. I had no head rush and wasnt dizzy. but i had a bad hang over when i woke up. Then headed into town again for a some kind of money a deal. Anyways, time to go listen to music before my computer crashes. |
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| busy |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|09:48 pm] |
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Well, to start things off, ive been doing alot of stuff, been working hard. Worked with 2 of the worst people today. I was able to work faster and better then them. Besides that, might have broke my metacarpel bone. The 5ith one. drove around on a machine, and might have damaged it or did some nasty damage to the muscle. It had been punched between a hard plastic knob and a pile of hard wood. I still worked for the rest of the day using only my right arm/left wrist. I made some good money though. Oh well, besides that, saturday I was able to go into town for megan and i took a bus, I went to tim hortons, and then waited for the bus to come back, then i checked the bus schdule, and realized, there want any bus coming, figures after i waited 30 mins. I didnt get everything megan wanted, but atleast i tired. But i ended up taking a taxi to her house, and droped off doom and stuff. Oh well, time to go.. |
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| strangeness |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|01:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
Well, apart from thing being abit messed up at home, I hung out with megan. Had a good time, and seen date movie. Apparntly we can't be together because of few major things, because she wants an apartment and a kid later in life. it would be all good as long an apartment was near work, and no kid. Or just the way things are. Sucks though. Time to go to bed. |
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mitchy_b's journal
tired
hung over